the unnatural mother

embracing mother-ing and all its glory – from wet diapers, spit-ups, tantrums to first smiles, hug-a-bugs and sweet cuddles

How gadgets can ruin your marriage December 17, 2013

Filed under: Parenting — reeseyenko @ 10:02 am
Tags: , ,

I’m an IT professional, which basically means, I work with computers. I work with software that is run on computers, mobile devices and the like. Yet,  I am not a ‘techie‘ person. I am not the one to get the latest gadget – phone, tablet or camera.  I am a woman but not the type who will go crazy over the latest designer bag or shoes. But don’t get me wrong – I do love shopping. But its the kind of shopping that searches for the best bargains, cool essentials and meaningful gifts. So you can say, I don’t like spending on things I have lived without for over 33 years and counting.

However, I do have a hubby and a father and a brother who are into those ‘techie’ stuff and though they can control their ‘techie-spending-sprees’, it’s the consequences I have to live with when hubby gets his hands on one ( – not so much concerned with how my father and brother uses their gadgets).

How can one simple toy ruin your marriage?

1. Time-buster. These gadgets eat away time – time that is supposed to be spent with quality with loved ones. Instead of talking about life and dreams when you’re in bed and about to meet Mr. Sandman, a husband can be out there playing with his newly acquired PS3, 4, 5 … 100 for all I care! The next thing you know, you’d be caught up in diaper changes, nighttime feedings and a screaming toddler that there is no more time for these quiet times for the 2 of you.

2. Preoccupation. Not too mention forgetfulness. When you’re thinking about the next ‘enemy’ you have to fight in the game on your phone, you are not focused. You tend to forget things.

3. Financial stress. Need I say more? These things cost a lot.

4. Harmony. When one is up to his/her neck in chores with a screaming 2 year old while the other is on the game console or even just the phone tapping away at a game,  what reaction do you expect to get? It doesn’t matter whose turn it is to do the dishes or the laundry or to get the kids to bed, there is too much work to keep a household going and I am sure you can think of something better to do while your other half is slaving away, right? I’d like to believe that marriage is about partnership and teamwork.

5. Your investment now is your future. People spend time and resources on what they think is important – that is why we spend money on our kids education because it is important; spend on healthy and quality food because our well-being is important. So when you spend your days and nights on a game – on digital ones and zeros, on electrical impulses running through plastic and chipboards, I am not sure what your future holds for you.

And so I can think of 5 major risks at this point – only 5, that when repeated consistently and all together, can and will destroy whatever strong foundation you have in your marriage.