~2014~ December 31, 2013

I never made any resolutions. I was always too lazy to think of meaningful ones and even if I could think of any, I didn’t like pressuring myself to stick to them. I guess I didn’t want to sit down and realize that I wasn’t able to achieve any of them. But next year would be different. For 2014, I might just make some. I want to feel accomplished when I sit back on this day next year and read this post. I want and need a sense of purpose this year.

These are my SMART goals for the year:

1. I need a financial goal. I’d like to believe that I am earning enough (to support my growing family) and that I am blessed with the opportunity to satisfy our needs and, at the same time, save a little for the future. Thus, I have written the amount I should have saved by June 2014 and Dec 2014 and hid it under this keyboard.
2. Make date time with hubby more regular. It should be a once-a-week thing or at the very least, twice a month. A simple dinner or coffee out should suffice. 18 date nights should be logged.
3. Make time for ME – even if it means walking around the mall along for 2-3 hours, that’s okay. At least, 10 dates with myself should be made this year.
4. Exercise. I plan to take boxing or if not, bike in our stationary bike at least twice a week. For this to be a successful resolution, I should have had at least 35 exercise sessions in the year to come.
5. Donate more clothes. My closet shouldn’t be bulging by the end of 2014.
6. Throw away things I don’t use or need. I still don’t know how to measure this.
7. Eat more healthy. I don’t drink softdrinks or coffee regularly but I need to it more vegetables. A meal of salad substituted for dinner must be made at least once a week. I should have done this 30 times in 2014.

How gadgets can ruin your marriage December 17, 2013

I’m an IT professional, which basically means, I work with computers. I work with software that is run on computers, mobile devices and the like. Yet,  I am not a ‘techie‘ person. I am not the one to get the latest gadget – phone, tablet or camera.  I am a woman but not the type who will go crazy over the latest designer bag or shoes. But don’t get me wrong – I do love shopping. But its the kind of shopping that searches for the best bargains, cool essentials and meaningful gifts. So you can say, I don’t like spending on things I have lived without for over 33 years and counting.

However, I do have a hubby and a father and a brother who are into those ‘techie’ stuff and though they can control their ‘techie-spending-sprees’, it’s the consequences I have to live with when hubby gets his hands on one ( – not so much concerned with how my father and brother uses their gadgets).

How can one simple toy ruin your marriage?

1. Time-buster. These gadgets eat away time – time that is supposed to be spent with quality with loved ones. Instead of talking about life and dreams when you’re in bed and about to meet Mr. Sandman, a husband can be out there playing with his newly acquired PS3, 4, 5 … 100 for all I care! The next thing you know, you’d be caught up in diaper changes, nighttime feedings and a screaming toddler that there is no more time for these quiet times for the 2 of you.

2. Preoccupation. Not too mention forgetfulness. When you’re thinking about the next ‘enemy’ you have to fight in the game on your phone, you are not focused. You tend to forget things.

3. Financial stress. Need I say more? These things cost a lot.

4. Harmony. When one is up to his/her neck in chores with a screaming 2 year old while the other is on the game console or even just the phone tapping away at a game,  what reaction do you expect to get? It doesn’t matter whose turn it is to do the dishes or the laundry or to get the kids to bed, there is too much work to keep a household going and I am sure you can think of something better to do while your other half is slaving away, right? I’d like to believe that marriage is about partnership and teamwork.

5. Your investment now is your future. People spend time and resources on what they think is important – that is why we spend money on our kids education because it is important; spend on healthy and quality food because our well-being is important. So when you spend your days and nights on a game – on digital ones and zeros, on electrical impulses running through plastic and chipboards, I am not sure what your future holds for you.

And so I can think of 5 major risks at this point – only 5, that when repeated consistently and all together, can and will destroy whatever strong foundation you have in your marriage.